1. stevegraham Posted by stevegraham

    The (Real) Hot Girl Effect and Networking

    Sir D.G blogged about how once women pass a certain threshold of sexual attractiveness, the amount of men hitting on them drop off exponentially. The rationale being the perceived attractiveness cause the majority of men to believe that they’re out of their league. As a corollary D.G extrapolates the same phenomenon afflicts corporate titans, i.e. those so far up the food chain that no one attempts to network with them.

    As interesting as his theory is, I have to say in my experience it’s a non-sequitur. D.G. uses the example of Goldman Sachs CFO apparently being a warm and friendly chap, welcoming all comers with open arms, and many people missing out on making a new poweful friend because of this. Having recently attended the TechHub Christmas party, also attended by super angel Dave McClure, I have seen that at least in tech, people aren’t always so coy in approaching heavy hitters.

    I was tipped off that Dave was going to attend the party earlier on in the day, and I figured that given I’m building a business around Twilio, and Dave’s intention to invest in Twilio based companies, it would make sense for us to have a brief chat. However, when I got there I could not see him for the baying mob of nerds that pitched and encircled him. I knew from Twitter that in the two days preceding this event Dave had been on a long-haul flight to Paris for Le Web, and then jumped on a train over to London for this party and presumably other things. After witnessing the furore, I decided to abstain from introducing myself and discussing Shrewple, I didn’t want to be that guy or ostensibly every guy in the damn room. I felt the non-stop pitches and sweaty palms thrust forth to be a little obnoxious, and it was no doubt exacerbated by the exhaustion that follows long haul travel. After checking Twitter, I felt vindicated, “Don’t pitch me bro” McClure tweeted from the event.

    If you really want something, e.g. to discuss your idea with Dave McClure, be smart about it. A much better outcome is likely if you obtain an introduction through a mutual connection, in mellower surroundings. Brute forcing the dude at a party is not the only option!

    The Hot Girl Effect For Reals

    However, I do believe that there is a so-called “Hot Girl Effect” and that there is a tremendous amount of good will in being associated with very attractive women. The effect is off of the charts when they are smart and informed. I know that may sound incredibly sexist, but sorry my guy, I’m afraid that’s how the world is.

    I was introduced to the ”Hot Girl Effect” by a girl I dated once. This girl is an absolute knockout, and very smart too. One time she took me to this random event, and people that I might have wanted to speak with were actively networking me. Once she started talking about Ruby on Rails, they were eating out of my hand. That one event yielded relationships that are still in my repertoire today, and the amount of effort I expended was effectively nil.

    My mind was blown, but when you think about it it makes perfect sense. No matter how successful a man might be, no matter how much wealth he accumulates, power over women is the great equaliser and this eludes many men of great wealth, power, and influence. I saw this truth play out in their eyes “This woman is beautiful… HOLY SHIT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT RUBY ON RAILS. OH MY GOD, THIS IS SUCH A NOVELTY TO ME! WHO IS THIS GUY?! WHAT’S HIS SECRET?!”

    People might say “Oh, you can never relate to the *insert impressive title* of *insert Fortune 500 company*. You simply cannot afford to do the things he enjoys, how could you possibly relate?” Well yes I can my guy, because everyone can relate to a beautiful woman.

    If you are fortunate enough to have a smart, attractive partner, deploy the advantage. She will be down for it, because she wants you to win, she loves you.

    “Networking” Is Odious

    I absolutely detest networking events, the activity of networking, and the actual term networking itself. At the risk of sounding like a misanthrope, a lot of people at these events are self obsessed to the extreme. Interactions with them usually go as follows:

    Dude: “Hey! What’s your name?”
    Me: “Hey, Nice to meet you! I’m Stevie…”
    Dude: “Hi Stevie, I’m Bob, what do you do?”
    Me: “Wel…” *cut off mid sentence*
    Dude: “Gee that’s swell. I’m the founder of Foogle, we’re like the X of Y!

    The only thing this guy is is the ass of doucheland. I think it’s pretty clear why “networking” is anathema to me, it has a connotation of people purely using others. That’s not the way I roll. Even if you are incredibly useful to me, if we don’t have a good relationship, we’re probably not going to be very useful to each other in reality. So if you must approach McClure et al at one of these events, and you don’t have a knockout lady friend at your disposal, how about you actually try to connect as a human being with common interests first? Like the guy who asked Paul Graham questions about his Lisp dialect Arc after he spoke at an Imperial College Entrepreneur Society event. PG went to the pub, had a beer with him after the gig, and even suggested that he stay in touch and apply for Y Combinator.

    It amazing how far not being an obnoxious asshole will get you.

    S

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